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How it is.


I laugh when I’m happy. I cry when I’m hurt. When I want to feel alive, I dance. When I desire to feel blessed, I go out in a storm and smell the rain. Someone is hurting before my eyes and it makes me want to hug, hold and console them. A sneering tone in my voice shoots off my lips faster than a baseball being pitched from a mound when I’m mad. My superhero instincts kick into high gear when I notice the unjust treatment of the innocents.

Somebody follows the wrong path and I shove or offer a taste of knowledge in the hopes that they will find some wisdom. We are what we eat and I admit my eating habits aren’t the best. Therefore, when I don’t eat right, then my body doesn’t fight infections or have the nutrition to properly function. When someone walks into a room and they are on guard, I pick up on that energy and put up my dukes. The times to laugh is when you hear someone experiencing joy.

I hurt because I am human, an artist, a writer and an author. I do not ask for your forgiveness because I am honest and I finally accept myself for who I am. Do not condemn me when I am happy nor condemn me when I feel your pain. Do not condemn me when I want to warn you. Why do you want me to roll over and die? Is it because you want to live in your perfect world of hate, ignorance, and suffering. Do you enjoy pecking others until they bleed to death? 

If you were heading on a path leading to destruction, do you want someone to watch while filming it? I will warn you when somebody’s table falls down at a convention. In fact, I will hurt myself by rushing over to help you pick things up. I am not one who will stand around and laugh.  Nor will I videotape you drowning in a car in a mass of water.

This is me. I am alive. I am connected with my soul on a personal basis. No more will I will hide my life under a bushel. If the Creator has gifted me the task to live, love, learn, feel and warn others, then I accept. Believe it. I am here and I’m not going anywhere. 

Years ago, I prayed to be as Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Gideon, Solomon, Hannah and Debra. I prayed to be live like Esther and Job. Then I begged to be condemned like Jesus because love conquers all. At the time, I had nothing to live for so I prayed to take on other people’s burdens. Kinda of a stupid prayer, I no longer regret it. I’ve done that. I’ve lived through more moss than a lot of people can handle. These last few years, I doubted if I had lost my faith. Well let me tell you… I haven’t! I still have my faith along with works. It keeps me strong and chugging through the hardest times and in the easy times…. Wait, easy times? What is that? I have been told that I don’t have the faith because all they can see is the storms on my ocean surface, roughing up my edges, but they cannot see the power, strength, and energy flowing through my very veins.

This is PJAE signing off. May your life be electrified.

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