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Stardate 1604.04 – An Angel

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Stardate 1604.04 Personal Log
An angel.

I think it’s time to share this story. I’m in the process of trying to get to Planet Comic Con. This is my story. This is why this con means more to me than my own career as an author. I will do anything for my children and I don’t care if this makes me sound like a desperate emotional woman. I don’t care if people did not take time to get close enough to me to understand some of the physical health issues I’ve endured these last three months during the announcement of this convention guest. The whole backflash buckles my knees and chokes my throat. Getting a table means more than anything so I can make sure my family is there for all three days. I have to. I have to get my son to see an angel. His name is Alan Tudyk.

My son turned 14, but when he turned 3, he was diagnosed with A.L.L.  He didn’t want any cartoons brought to the hospital. He asked his grandparents to bring “A Knights Tale”. Only. He didn’t want anything else. We told the grandparents to sneak in some of his favorite cartoons, but when the movies arrived, he didn’t want to watch them. He watched A Knights Tale five times a day for two and a half weeks straight. I would pause or turn the channel and he would wake up and correct me. My son refused to watch anything, but …The Tale… dun dun dun dunnnn. It became our strength. After we left, he was still obsessed so I changed the audio on in French and Spanish so I wouldn’t go crazy. I still have all three versions memorized. We have had 4 copies. We might even have 3 copies left. It’s the only movie we have with multiple copies. One is still in the wrapper (unless the kids opened it). My son. He wanted a Castle Playhouse we had seen in a museum. Make A Wish made it a big deal because it was an anniversary year for them. The Castle costed 10,000 dollars, but it’s their biggest expense ever. A debt I tried to repay with a fundraiser, but failed. We were able to find someone to donate a concrete slab to put under the structure. They ran out of money so it lacks a roof. There are only two playhouses like this in the world. We spent 8k on his braces because of Chemo and five on his brother’s. We’ve never been able to afford money for a roof. Anyway. The Castle on our 80 acres is a daily reminder of how much A Knights Tale affects our daily choices. Make A Wish couldn’t get Heath Ledger to come to the party. A local group tried to lie to my son and tell him his picture is autographed by Heath. I’ve never lied to my son and I’m not starting today. That’s why it’s so important for him to see Alan in person. I sent letters to try to tell Heath’s family that their son saved our lives. The letters were returned unopened. My 9year old daughter was 2 and a half weeks at that castle party.

When I told my son about my attempt to find a sponsor to cover my table so he could see Alan, my son was scared to wear his Reaver cosplay outfit he sewed for Smallville 2015. He wanted to wear a knights outfit. He wanted to bring his helmet he received from the Make a Wish party. We all dressed up. They all sewed their outfits. I showed up as Kaley, but no one recognized me. They complimented my outfit and snapped my photo, but didn’t know my name until I showed up as the bellydancing Jedi. My hubby pulled off a shiny Jayne. My 11 year old dressed as Mal and we referred to him as Captain Tight-pants as many times as we could slip it in. My 9yr daughter chose River and my baby insisted on picking Zoe. She was sooo timid, but became aggressive when her gun holster broke and did not mimic the exact way Zoe wore her holster. Tired baby never saw the cosplay bug bite a person so hard. I should have never let the girls stay up that late to finish their costumes. You should have seen her when people comforted her about her Wash’s death. My River put on a great scene. She would pretend cry and say, “They killed Wash.” Then she turned into a stone cold killer and said, “But I kicked their butts!” My 11, 9 and 8 wanted to show Alan their Serenity costumes. They insisted I would get to see my “boyfriend” Simon since I was Kaley. River wants to walk up and tell her sister as loudly as she can muster, “See, I told you Wash isn’t dead!”. My survivor wants his Knights Tale hero to like the Knight he helped inspire.

I am this close to making my family’s dream come true. I have hugged actors. I have taken selfies with them, but I have never felt this way about any of the cons I’ve been to. The kids have gone to cons for the inspiration, courage and fun cons offer, but this will be the first guest they are dying to meet. Alan Tudyk is more important to my family than anyone at that convention will ever know. They don’t respect him like we do. He has been an angel of hope for us for 11 years and more years to come. A Knights Tale is forgotten by many movie goers, but it drives this family daily. One thing driving me in my journey to become a successful author is the fact my family wants to build a real castle. We are obsessed with castles and I cannot tell you how much I have prayed for loyal friends like Sir Oryk. This last few months, I have felt a taste of it on a couple taste buds. I built a con last year and I have to be build it again this year to help others’ dreams come true. I even included the Serenity battle flag for the opening ceremony last year. Somehow, I ended up being the tone deaf singer spouting out the theme song.

Forgoing telling my fans in my challenge of raising money to buy my table fee there, I took out a small loan. It’s not good business to get sympathy. I want my book to be successful because it’s a good read. I don’t want to tell my fans about how crazy it makes me to want to be at Planet. You should have seen my son today, when I told him, we might not be able to go. For the safety of my family, I don’t post pictures of my family on my social media. I am a guest at cons too because I lead a public life. Seeing Alan, crosses my public life with my personal life.

My family needs to see Alan like a baby needs a first breath. He saved our lives with A knight’s Tale. This con will let us say goodbye to the past and hello to the future. Who cares my daughters baked Firefly Cookies to sell to raise money for their music, MA and camp because they ended up eating them instead. They were too young to fully understand the full significance. It was A knight’s tale that drives us as a family. It is the old code of a knight that drives our honor. It was A knights Tale that makes us want to build a castle to live in. We need a new home. This farm house sucks. We are planing to build a castle as soon as we get the funds.

My tears are not helping this to be a professional letter. I can’t think as a business woman right now. I can’t think as an author. My son was on his death bed in the hospital and he would cry for that movie. I can only think of getting a real actor from A knights tale to autograph a photo for my son instead of the fake Heath Ledger autograph upstairs in my son’s room.

Signing off for now,

Princess Jae

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