Stardate 1607.22 – Abduction
Minding my own business, I maneuvered around the house only to be stopped with a flashing blinding white light. My body went numb, my fingers went cold and the room filled with little nagging aliens. This is not the first time. My old habit flared up again after a fan who became a friend got too close. She lives in a house with four generations. We have so much in common. It’s beyond a miracle. My hero. We have been trying to convince my kids of the social and ecological advantages of living with four generations. My fan’s mother just recently became diagnosed with the same thing my father and his mother died from.
The nerve hit real hard. I mean, she could be a long lost twin from another dimension. I panicked. I went into full blooded break down mode. My father died when I was young and it had destroyed us. Over the years of my life, there have been a few times I have wanted death. I don’t believe in suicide so I would wish death would snag me. But here, recently, I have been empowered with life. Therefore, my conscious picked at me until guilt trickled all over me and beamed out every nook and cranny of my skin.
Yesterday, I woke up feeling like my head would explode. It burned and ached something fierce. I had been playing in the garden with the cat poo and started treating myself for parasites. Because of my friend’s mom, I went into overkill. Like I usually do when I’m afraid of death which actually kills me. Literally. I took a black walnut, sulfur and garlic bath which actually brought my symptoms down quite considerably. The weird feeling in my head can only be described as Mange on the brain. Sometime, I will blog about the mange experience. I took 2 black walnut pills and repeated the bath, but adding ginger the second time.
The emergency room was next because of disorientation, dizzy, brain burning and loss of motor skills. They gave me an I.V. and something for headache and nausea. I returned home to take 2 muscles relaxers and discovered I was being dehydrated from the overkill. Nope, the sandman wouldn’t visit me and I was still wired for sound. Tried a beer and then hours later, warm milk. I even tried the horizontal tango. Still no relief. Every cell in my body wanted to climb out of my skin. Then, I tried melatonin. Still nothing. I felt everything and nothing at the same time. After 2am, my body kicked into high gear and I sacrificed toilet paper to the white ceramic bowl while cuddling his virgin plastic son, trashcan. I praised his name with dry heaves until 6 in the morning. My hubby and I calculated I had probably overdosed on muscle relaxer which had probably caused the first symptom to begin with.
Oh my codfish. Here I am, still not feeling like myself. The concussion, right ankle and now my guts are burning. All because I went into overkill. The withdrawal symptoms of the steroids had sent me on a crash course so I killed my soul with overdosing on everything at the same time. All because I was afraid to leave my children without a mother, my husband without a wife and my fans without a sequel.