Stardate 1609.23 – Again?
Oh for cod’s sake. Cleaning up the spilled oil on my hands and knees, I bumped into a cart. The metal pipes leaning against the cart fell right on top of my head, resulting in yet another head injury. This one has been weird compared to the other two. Gravity pulled the giant softball sized bruising into my nose and eyes. After that day, I visited the merciless E.R. Confusion lit an ugly cycle of endless allergy symptoms. Nothing, I mean nothing stopped the horrible terror. No drugs or herbs sealed off the liquid building up in my nose nor draining down my throat. The headache part has not been as bad as the first two, but the pain is weird. I still overdo it like a normal concussion and get dizzy, weak, sleepy, and queasy.
Despite being cautioned to rest, I cannot. I will hate myself and the cards dealt to me a whole lot less if I just do a little bit at a time. The children still need my guidance to finish chores and I have laundry/ cleaning to catch up from the last injury. “Why,” whining some, “can’t your husband help you.” Well, he works too hard outside the home and you want him to kill himself at home too? When the shellfish is he allowed to rest? None I guess. I guess he is supposed to work 60-70 hours a week and then work 25 hours at home. You do the math! Lay off, will you. The children cannot do it all by themselves either. I heard that when my oldest was 9. The neighbors and local community continue to have the nerve to say the only way they will help is for me to join their church. The bribe they dangle on the fishing line, but what they hope you’ll clamp down on is the double edged hook of blackmail.
It is disgusting how the churches say they follow J.C.’s example, but they don’t. They are picky and choosy who they help. They stand around and accuse the paralyzed man’s parents while they blame the the pipe that fell on my head. I even hear them say my son deserved cancer because we didn’t pray to their chosen Messiah. Excuse me while I pray to the one that J.C. prayed to. I mean, come on. Even in the book of Revelation, J.C. might have been honored for playing the cards he was dealt, but he turned around and fully bowed down to the Creator. If they want bow down before a tree with gold and silver trimmings every year, then I can bow down before anyone I choose to. As for me and my house, we will serve the Creator. Period.
My hubby has been encouraging me to write down my dreams. He teasingly called it the Book of Jae. After pondering it for a bit, I felt the desire for a challenge. However, after I almost got killed this last time, the pipes banged the notion across my head. I will have to write this unique book of dreams fulfilled, warnings and letters.
I am sorry I have not blogged in awhile. This is the reason. I work, rest and repeat until I’m blue in the face. It’s all I’ve really been able to accomplish. Plus I still work as a freelancer in marketing for others as well as myself. Blogging, youtubing and selling one book does not make enough dough to pay for food or bills. I must get well and finish book 2 and help a rapper write his book.
Signing off for now,